Family: One Mothers Evolution


Growing up I didn’t have an ideal childhood. My father wasn’t around and my mother suffered from mental illness. We didn’t have much money and we moved around a lot. Years later when I became a mother to my own children, I realized I had very few normal past childhood experiences to gauge my own parenting abilities on. It was like starting from scratch. Almost.

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My hot stuff and I looking hot n stuff

I was lucky enough to have an awesome man in my life who had a wonderful childhood and a very loving family, so I wasn’t completely stuck.

 I was blessed that his parents who are the salt of the earth kind of people, welcomed me in to their family almost immediately and never looked back. They have shown me the true meaning of family.

Im sure the first couple years my mother in law (who is a christmas specialist) was ringing her hands around Christmas time. I would get off work to find her and my daughter decorating a tree (her own) in my house a couple weeks before christmas.

She must have found it odd, my seemingly lack of interest in Christmas; especially because I was a mother to a small child.  For me it wasn’t so much a lack of interest, it was more a lack of experience.

I didn’t even know how to wrap a present until last year, when my husband refused to be my wrapping go to guy for Christmas and birthdays (that man can wrap a present like nobody’s business!)

Apparently my plan to wait till the last minute so he had to help (or I would never finish) wasn’t going to work anymore. I like to say: you’ll know your presents from me if it looks like it’s been kick down the street 😉


Exhibit A: present wrapping at it’s finest

It took some time but I now am a huge fan of camping trips, family vacations and of course holidays, thanks to them.

Especially Thanksgiving. I love eating massive amounts of turkey and then skimming through all the sales papers so I can plot out my routine Black Friday (Thursday) shopping trip. They have shown me the ways of a Black Friday Jedi Warrior.


The Black Friday Mishap Of 2014

Except for last years fail, I think they are quite proud of my growing expertise. One year I got 15 towels for 22$! Who cares if they were brown, beige, and avocado colored? Money well spent in my eyes.

You can never have enough towels when you have kids!

From chaotic family campouts to hectic holidays, it’s all the little moments with my family that make my life what it is today.


The lost kids…


I know what it means to be a lost kid….

I worked really hard to forget….

The pain and despair were a trial that most could not bare……

I know what it means to be a lost kid and have parents who don’t care

I know what it means to be a lost kid who runs away, trying to escape the chaos that continued to plague those they left behind….

I know what it means to be a lost kid and create your own chaos with other lost kids who welcomed you in without judgment  or fear, to a freedom you never thought you would find…

I know what it means to be a lost kid who dwells where no child should….

I know what it means to be a lost kid and realize that what all those lost kids thought was freedom, was actually chains in disguise…

I know what it means to be a lost kid, who wakes up one day to find that they are all alone, and all the other lost kids have gone away

To no one’s surprise….

I know what it means to be a lost adult who deep down inside is still that lost kid, who never really grew up….

I know what it means to be a lost kid who one day opens her eyes to see that she has broken free from the chains that held her down for so long….

I know what it means to be a lost kid who is lost no more…

The Four Cardinal Rules To Getting A Tattoo When You’re Young


It was my 18th birthday when I decided I was going to get my first tattoo. I remember being really excited and not having a clue as to what I was going to get.

As I looked through the tattoo magazine that was lying around while I was waiting for the tattoo artist, I saw a huge winged angel and it spoke to me. I thought that’s the one!

Don’t judge me. I was only 18, and I never claimed I had the best taste 😉

I sat there for three hours give or take, until it was done (who knew if I would ever see that guy again since he was a friend of a friend, and just got fired from the local tattoo shop for being unreliable)

When it was all over, I was happy. My tattoo came out pretty good, not to mention it covered my entire left shoulder. Hey, go big or go home right?

13 years, 2 kids, and some on and off weight fluctuations later, and my sweet little angel doesn’t look so sweet anymore.

I later learned through experience I had broken the four cardinal rules of getting a tattoo

No.1 Never get a tattoo while still in your teens (or early twenties if you really want to play it safe).

The reason being; the older you get, the more your tastes will change. Weather because you got married, had kids or whatever else life throws at you, you are going to evolve.

You can never be positive you will still want that the giant Scooby Doo smoking a joint on the small of your back.

Not that I don’t love Scooby doo mind you, but I just don’t think it will be all that appropriate when your kid turns four, and wants to know what that is in his mouth and why his eyes are so red….

No.2  Placement is everything.

If your going to break rule one make sure it doesn’t cover an entire body part so its easier to cover up. Plus it will leave more options open to you if you do want to cover it.

No.3 Know what you want before you go in.

Give yourself time to think about what you want this tattoo to say about you for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

No.4 Do your homework.

Make sure you check out the tattoo artist work before hand. Just because they can do tattoos doesn’t mean they are good.

Believe me, having a shitty tattoo sucks! I literally have to go four sizes bigger then my entire shoulder to cover it up! Were talking hours of work, and definitely more than one session.

So there it is my four cardinal rules for getting a tattoo. looking back now my tattoo reminds me of where I was in that moment on my 18th birthday, and that at the time I think I felt I needed a little protection and guidance.

Even though I wish someone would have mentioned all this to me before I got inked at least I can pass it on.

If I can just stop that one person before they get that giant colored mushroom with the weird googly eyes that covers the entire back of their calve then I will have made a difference.

Five Things We Do For Our Kids Out Of Love


Today I am babysitting a five month old pit bull puppy, that belongs to our oldest son. He’s definitely a cutie. He is also a bit hyper and down right unruly at times.

I am really not much of a puppy person as it is. First of all there not potty trained. Which means for me, keeping a close eye and nose out for any signs of what I like to call “puppy love”.

Then there is the whole teething thing. I love ALL of my shoes! I prefer to wear them with out teeth marks, and still in one piece.

Not to mention that having two small children exactly school age apart, means I have literally spent eight years straight, taking care of a small child. Twenty four hours a day. Seven days a week.

So that’s probably the reason why I am hesitant about bringing a baby-anything in to our household, for more then a quick visit.

After I agreed to watch him, and the boy left me with this little hellion, (who is right now chewing one of my daughters toys) I started thinking about all the things we do out of love for our kids. Here are my top five;

1. Pets.

Obviously I’m going to throw pets on here because let’s face it, who really ends up training, feeding and footing the vet bill at the end of the of the day? (or at the very least babysitting them for your oldest who’s home from college for the week). You guessed it. The parents.

2. Toys.

I bet you didn’t think that one would make the list huh. Well I’m here to tell you that it does. Here’s why; just because you have kids it does not mean its mandatory for your house to look like a used toy store.

It takes a special kind of parent to allow their house to be over run by Lego’s and Polly Pockets, as well as those huge toys that take up half the living room like kitchens and play vanities or barbie dream houses (I have at least two of each in my house for both of my girls).

3. Extracurricular activities.

Sports, dance or any other event that takes up quite a bit of time, and/or costs an arm and a leg. I’m sure there are a ton of parents who love to go to those events. I’m just not one of them.

Recently I went to my daughters first talent show, she was literally the LAST act to go on. I had to sit through 28 other acts, before we got to her three and half minute song (which I worked on with her for two weeks!) that was cut off unexpectedly after only two minutes. Apparently they ran out of time. Go figure.

4. Friends.

You may or may not end up being the local hang out spot for your kids, and their friends. Our house was where my sons band practiced through out high school.

Now don’t get me wrong many of those kids still come around on occasion, and I’m so glad we had the chance to get to know those extremely talented young men.

Then again when you have a small baby who kept you up all night, and your just trying to get them down for a nap (believe me as much as I love that song) A.C.D.C’s, T.N.T is not what you want to hear in place of utter silence.

5. Birthday Parties.

Of course I saved the best for last! First of all, you will probably end up with somewhere close to fifty people (most you probably never met, since your child invited the entire class) walking around spilling their cup of juice or soda all over your house.

Plus there’s always that one person who’s sick, coughing all over everyone making you wonder why the hell they didn’t just do us all a favor and stay in bed. Instead you have them in your face, breathing on you while asking where the restroom is.

Now it’s a party.

Then there are always those last few stragglers who hold up the whole damn thing until your ready to just cut the fucking cake and be done with it.

Screw you stragglers! 2pm means 2pm!

Finally its present time. When its all said and done after first cleaning up all the wrapping paper, you realize only a third of the stuff they got (if your lucky) they will actually use.

The rest of it will end up just adding to the clutter in and around your already chaotic life house.

Like forgotten memories from birthdays and Christmas’s past. Just waiting for your annual yardsale to be bought by another more grateful child, who’s looking for a deal. Who doesn’t love birthday parties?

The parents who throw them, that’s who.

So thats the top five on my list. I’m sure all of you have your own list of five or more things you do for your kids because, hey there your kids.

No matter what, we love our children unconditionally, and want the world for them.

Even if that means baking in the hot sun for hours watching them play sports, or sitting through several renditions of Frozen’s Let It Go, just to get to hear half of your own child’s rendition of the same song.

The truth is, the pro’s far outweigh the con’s. The excited look they give you when you tell them they can KEEP the puppy, or when they see you in the stands at their talent show or baseball game makes it all seem easier some how.

In the end being a parent is one of the hardest jobs there is, but its definitely one that’s worth it.

We do it all, out of love!