Why do we as women sometimes learn to expect less from our relationships? If you expect less that’s what you will get is less. Lately I have been noticing a common link in some of my friends relationships.
They are willing to overlook some major red flags and continue down what seems to me, a destructive path. All of this is none of my business of course, but it doesn’t stop me from wondering why.
First I should point out my own relationship is not perfect. We have our moments for sure, but never for a second will I ever worry about who my husband has been with. Nor will I have rumors constantly surrounding us about his alleged infidelity.
To put it mildly where there’s smoke there’s fire. My own relationship is built on mutual trust. If it wasn’t, it sure as hell would have been a tumultuous last 9 years.
I refuse to accept less. Its all or nothing for me. Sometimes even when we know something is true, we refuse to see it for what it is. It hurts too much. The problem with ignoring certain aspects of our partners is that it can come back to bite us in the ass, when we least expect it.
Sure there’s some things I ignore in my partner. Like farting in bed and his sometimes so smart he’s almost arrogant (know it all) manner.
Those for me, are worth overlooking because of the bigger picture. He loves me. He is a great father. He is so smart. He’s funny and kind. He’s trustworthy. He’s honest. He can be sweet when least expected and he’s great in bed (when he’s not farting). He also takes amazing care of his family.
To me those are the things that matter most. Without trust though, non of those other things matter at all. At least for me. I couldn’t continue in a relationship unless I knew without a shadow of a doubt my partner is completely devoted to me, and me alone.
Doubts in a relationship are poison. You can ignore them but they keep coming back. Seeping in to your thoughts poisoning them all. This kind of stress ruins people. I couldn’t live like that, let alone build a relationship on that.
I put my all into all that I do. I expect the same in return. Loyalty in all things. There is no relationship on earth worth holding onto without it.
I hate to see anyone of my friends suffer in a relationship like that.
The fact is they chose to overlook it, and by default chose the consequences that come with overlooking something of that magnitude.
I guess sometimes it takes witnessing other people’s relationship issues to realize just how special your own relationship is. Not to mention how good it makes my husband look. I’m not going to tell him though, it might add to his sometimes arrogant manner.